Friday, May 24, 2013
Table of Content
Opening Statement
Essay 1: What I know
Introductory Statement
Final Draft
Essay 2: Taking a Side
Introductory Statement
Pre- writing
Final Draft
Toulmin Analysis/Critique2
Essay 3: Inquiry to Occupy
Introductory Satement
Pre-writing
Final Draft
Essay 4: Book Club
Introductory Statement
Final Draft
Peer Evaluation for Rebecca
Reflection: Writing Process
Closing Statement
Reflection: Writing Process
Writing
the process of my essay or response, I usually use some useful stages that I
need to focus on them. In this semester,
I total wrote 4 essays. I use the same way to write my essays. In the first
step, I was reading the assignment and article. To make sure I could easy to
understand what I were going to write, I annotate the assignment and article.
After finished reading, I started to write outline. I think this is important
for me because I could know how to organize my whole essay what I was going to
write. The third step, I would write my review draft quickly because I did not
care if I have grammar mistake. Therefore, when we Peer Evaluation to each
other, we check the grammar and the paragraph’s organization. Like this, I
could easy know which part I need to develop. Finally, I would do the proofreading
in my draft. I think it is effective to improve an essay.
Essay 4: Final Draft
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Cuihua Lin
Mr. Hayes
English100
[1:10-2:00]
5/6/13
Word Count: 1258
To be Outliers
How does
one become a successful person? Different people have different perspective. Some people may believe that success
is the result of careful planning, but others may believe that success comes
from taking risks and opportunities. However, I believe that success
is a combination of external factors and personality.
My book club’s text is Outliers: the Story of Success, it tells about what make a person
successful. The author, Malcolm Gladwell, is a journalist for The Washington and writes from a contrarian viewpoint Post, points
out his main points simply and briefly. Gladwell describes why
people are so successful and shares interesting stories about successful people. He shows many examples to help us
to think about some similarities between successful people in order to find out
the key to success. What makes
you succeed? Gladwell argues that there are some circumstantial and environmental factors that
influence a person’s success. He said that External factors play an important role in success. Moreover, Gladwell use
many examples demonstrates his main point, which is that the factors
contributing to a person’s success are beyond the individual’s control, for
he/she is influenced by circumstantial and environmental factors. From Gladwell’s explanations of success, his
book contains the two most important parts: that hard work helps success people
to succeed and that they should seize the opportunities when they occur.
One of the most important parts is that successful people have the
virtue of hard work. Malcolm Gladwell holds that “10,000
hours of working on skills seems to be a rule of success.”( Gladwell 39) I
fully agree with him because only if we work hard, we can reach our dreams. For
instance, Bill Gates could succeed not only because his computer savvy is
better than others, but also because he worked much harder than others. Bill
Gates started working towards the threshold of 10,000 hours when he gained
access to a high school computer. When Gates was in his high school years, he
skipped athletics and spent his whole nights at the Information Sciences Inc.
and the Computer Center Corporation in order to use their computers to program.
Without that hard effort, I believe that Gates could not have had his Microsoft
companies around the world today. What’s more, before they had their first
burst of success, the Beatles, a rock and roll band from England, had performed live in Hamburg,
Germany over 1200 times from 1960 to 1964, which amassed more than 10,000 hours
of playing time. All of the time the Beatles spent in performing shaped their
talents, for “they were no good onstage when they went there and they were very
good when they came back” (Gladwell 50). Everyone wants to succeed, but there
is no shortcut to success. We will succeed only if we work hard. Gladwell’s
conclusion about 10,000 hours teaches readers that only through extremely hard
work and dedication they can make their dreams come true.
In
addition to talk about hard work, seizing the opportunity is very important
because it can lead readers to learn more success. What’s the key to success?
Malcolm Gladwell states that “successful people are often lucky to be in the
right place at the right time.”(Gladwell 123) This quote shows that if those
people did not seize the opportunities, they would never have chances to reach
their goals. For instance, Bill Gates, the computer programming pioneer,
dropped out of Harvard University in order to seize the opportunity to create a
computer company called Microsoft with his friends. Even though Harvard is one
of the most well-known universities around the world, and it could have helped
Bill Gates to live a
good life, Bill Gates gave up his school with great pluck to seize the
opportunity to explore the way of his success. This opportunity allowed Bill
Gates to get to the top of pyramid because that opportunity leads Bill Gates to
get more opportunities. Obviously, seizing the opportunity is crucial for being
successful. If Bill had stayed at the Harvard University until graduation, I
believe Bill Gates would have lost the opportunity to reach his outstanding
status today. Seizing your opportunity makes you go farther than others. It may
be hard to seize it, but we should try our best to catch it and use it to
change ourselves and even change the world. Gladwell’s point tells readers that
once they seize the opportunity, they can succeed more than others with their
hard effort.
While
reading his book outliers, I feel this book is more easy than difficult when I
read because it has fewer difficulty vocabularies. Even though there is few
parts needs a little bit extra time to understand the concepts, most chapters
are easy to understand because it contains some useful factors. For example,
the chart is one of the factors. When Glawell writes about why do most
successful people were born from Jan. to Apr., he not only uses some relevance
datas to prove his claim, but also sets up some tables to help readers easily
to understand what he talks about success. He inserts the charts under the end
of his claims to persuade to readers to believe his claims. Having those
charts, I can easily to read and remember this book. In addition, I think that
charts are useful because I can through the charts to specific know what the
author said. The other factor that I think his book is easy is because he has
similarities points to explain the different success people. From chapter 2,
Gladwell mentions two success people, Bill Gates and Bill Joy, who have some
experience of success. Both of them succeed in the IT field, so I can easily
compare their experience. Even though they have different skills about
computers, they all follow same steps which reach the 10,000 hour rules, and
seize the opportunities. Therefore, as a reader, I could understand the
author’s main points.
Above
all, Gladwell uses some effective evidences to show that his important parts of
success is meaningful, and the text itself is easy to read, which is good for a
transfer level college reading and writing class. I recommend this book to the
future English 100 students because these two reasons: that it can help readers
to learn how to be more successful and that it contains some useful and
interesting knowledge for readers. From two reasons the future English 100
students not only can learn how to work hard or how to seize opportunities to
reach their goals, but also they can easy to understand what this book talks about.
With those meaningful reasons, there is wonder that this book is worth reading
carefully for the future English 100 students.
There
is no doubt that successful people take advantage of opportunities. However, if
we have good condition and environment, but we do not work hard, we can only
watch opportunities pass. Bill Gates and Bill Joy seized the opportunities, but
if they did not work hard, they wouldn’t succeed and become outliers. It is not always innate genius or talent that
will make you
a success; it’s the hours that you put in,
which means that if we work hard now, we could expect success later on. If we
don’t, our future life will probably be gloomy.
Work Cite
And company on November 18, 2008 New York:
Hatchette book group (original work
published 2008).
Peer Evaluation for Rebecca
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Cuihua Lin
Mr. Hayes
English100
[1:10-2:00]
5/8/13
Word Count: 510
Peer
Evaluation for “Quiet”
Reverse Outline
Paragraph
|
Note on form or organization
|
Brief of on content
|
#1
|
Hook and introduce the text
|
Introduce what is the introverts and extrovert
|
#2
|
Introduce the
introverts
|
Discussion of the introverts
|
#3
|
Body
1
|
Give
an example to talks about the source of the introverts
|
#4
|
Body2
|
Another
example to discuss the introverts.
|
#5
|
Body3
|
Discusses
the difficulty of this text
|
Global:
·
There is a big picture for this
essay
·
I see that the main approach of
this paper revolves around Introverts and extroverts, although I am not quite
sure what the specific thesis.
·
I see a little summary of your
book club text, but I do not see a recommendation of your book club text, I
suggest you may add a little bit to your summary.
·
The essay seem to include an
analysis of the book’s argument
·
Excellent attention to
audience. I notice this at several points, such as the second paragraph.
Organization:
·
I like how you organized your
essay, star right in with club text.
·
It seems to discuss introverts, come up with an
example: Eleanor Roosevelt
·
I like the way each of the
sources were follow the “Topic – Evidence –explanation”
·
You consider a “word to text”
introduction in which you set up the books topic before you begin discussing
it.
·
It seem you are not recommend
your text, you put some difficulty point with your essay
·
You may need to add more reason
for your essay. May you could develop in more details in your essay
·
The topic which explores the
benefits of being an introvert, sounds pretty interesting.
Paragraph:
·
Great work on conveying the
“They Say” Part, but you might need to express a little more of you “I Say”.
·
I like how the topic –
evidence- explanation concept was applied in this paper, although I think the
topics seem to be lacking some specification.
·
The fourth paragraph, you might
try to add a more explanation as to how the quotation prove your topic
·
Good transition on your fifth paragraph
·
I like the way you used a
question to include a “naysayer” counter argument to your recommendation
·
I like the strong analysis of
the quote in paragraph 3, you clinched your point, and I could see how this
provided one perspective on the question you start with.
·
Interesting idea to define that
term in paragraph 4- you may develop this more
·
I like the structure of your
body paragraph, but you may develop your topic sentences.
·
It seems all paragraphs talk about
“introverts”, but I didn’t see how you recommend this text.
·
I didn’t see you talk about the
extrovert, may be you can add a little bit
·
You may skip line when you
write your essay (Use MLA )
·
you may develop a little bit
more summary on your first paragraph
·
make the thesis specific
closing Statement
In my first day in
Mr. Hayes’ classes, I felt that it is different ESL class. I thought whether
the class was going to be difficulty and might help me to improve English
class. There is no doubt that I learned
a lot of knowledge from his class.
Before writing a whole essay, professor would give us assignments to
improve our writing every day. With those assignments, I know how to organize
my writing essay. Also, when we start write review draft, we can discuss the
Think/pair and the Peer Evaluation. Like this, we can easy to find which part
we need to develop.
Mr. Hayes is one respectable and patience
professor. He taught us how to improve my writing essay. No matter you are native speak or use second language,
there were the same assignment for each day. Even though we have to write
homework each day, we learn a lot of knowledge from him.
Introductory Statement4
In the essay4
discusses about books. It contains “Book club presentation and review essay.” When
we enjoy the book club, we not only need to summary the books, but also need to
discuss the different/ease. Moreover, the important points of the book club is
discussed whether we have to recommend the books or not to the future English
100 students. I gain useful knowledge and improve my reading from this book
club.
Introductory Statement 3
In essay 3:
Inquiry Into occupy. This essay writes about the Occupy movement, which
surround the structure of Aims of argument. We do not need to write thesis, we only follows
question to write our body paragraphs. Therefore
it is easy to for us to choose which article focus on the question.
Introductory Statement 2
In essay 2:
“Taking a side”, which share ideas we found which our research team and write
critique of the opinion columns. In one team which needs to share three
authors, in our critique estimation. We need to critique each author because it
would be easy to organize our final draft. This essay’s main point uses quotes
to support each claim. Therefore, we can follow the topic-evidence- explanation
to organize our essay.
Introductory Statement 1
The first essay,
we write about “What I know” expository draft. Before we write this essay, we have to read
one article “The Rock Lexicon” by Chuck
Klostermen which can help us to understand what we are going to write. In
this essay which talks about own topic. Before we starts write introduction of
this essay, we should write a little bit conversion as a hook. In the
introduction, we do not need to be too formal about work cite page for this
essay.
Opening Statement
At the beginning,
before I read the course overview: Reading As A Writer, I think the only thing
that we need to do is reading. After re-reading the syllabus, I was able to
understand what I learned as an English student. When I re- read the phrase “ reading as a
writer”, Reading As A Writer
introduces to how to make the ability to analyze and respond critically
to the text. I knew the purpose of the writing class. From this class, I
learned that the main point is about how to follow “ they say/ I Say” to write
an essay. Moreover, this way taught me
how to improve the body paragraphs or how to organize the essay. With this
useful knowledge, I hope it can bring me success in the future writing.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Essay 3: Final Draft
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Cuihua Lin
Mr.Hayes
English 100 [1:10-2:00]
5/13/13
Revise Essay 3
Word Count: 1321
To
Make A Success of the Occupy Movement
The Occupy movements not only appear at the
United Stated, but also they appear in the whole world. [#1] The Occupy
movement is an international protest movement which is primarily directed against
economic and social inequality. People hope to get more participation opportunities as
citizens to the Occupy movements because they are dissatisfied with the
society. Even though the occupy movement includes a diversity of people’s
colors, genders, and political persuasions, the one thing they all have in
common is that they, the 99%, will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption
of the rich and power. They use different ways to achieve the movements and
encourage the use of nonviolence to maximize the safety of all participants. In “The occupy Movement Needs Real Leaders and
Real Goals,” Akshara Sekar and Deborah Soung argue that leaders can help occupiers
to keep the movements organizing and reaching goals; Similar to Akshara- and
Deborah’s article, Laird Harrison and Michelle Nichols write about “the
Occupiers Need to Mobilize Students and Unions to Succeed,” which
brings the students and unions into a greater responsibility of pushing the
movement forward. On the other hand, “In
order to Succeed, the Occupy Movement Needs to broaden Its Focus” written by
Maria Armoundian argues that the Occupy movement needs to push through the
media to convey the Occupy movement. From the three articles which have
different positions, I mention two big questions about the Occupy movement,
which are “What does it take for Occupy to be successful?” and “Why do
occupiers need to mobilize students or leaders?”
The three articles present different
positions on how the occupy movement can be successful. For the first question,
I find that two authors who are Armoudian and Harrison and Nichols have
different perspectives about the Occupy movements. Armoudian, a fellow at
the University of Southern California’s Center for international Studies and
the host and producer of the Pacifica Radio programs The Scholars’ Circle and The
Insighters, has some perspectives on
how occupy is being successful. [#7] Armoudian points out that the
Occupy movement can be successful through different ways such as the use of
social media. She believes that if the
Occupy movement broadens its focus that it can be successful. For example, Armoudian describes the success
of the occupy movement as a political movement. She argues that protesters need
to employ the media and launch initiatives for political movement. She says that as a political movement, it
should “begin with a spark-powerful communications, ideas and demonstrations”
(Armoudian). This case shows what Armondian believes to be a way of encouraging
protesters to have energy to keep going until they are successful, for a political
movement can evolve into a true force of change. I think
that although Armoudian’s point is true, she mostly acknowledges the positive
issues of political movement. She mentions that a political movement looks
like a “historic movement”, which creates true political transformations. [#8] She thinks that the Occupy movement should get
through the media to convey the message in the United Stated or in the world.
In her perspective, she argues that social media is an important tool, used by
the Occupy movement because social media can help the occupiers to convey communicate more information to different
places.
While Armoudian believes that the use of
social media to convey information is helpful for the Occupy movement, Harrison
and Nichols mention another perspective of the success of Occupy movement. [#2]
Harrison, a novelist and multimedia journalist, works as a correspondent for Time and People magazines, and writes
for many national magazines and newspaper; Nichols is a reporter. They argue
that having students and unions can help occupiers make a successful Occupy
movement because it boosts up the momentum of the movement. Having a bigger
group can bring a stronger force to bring down corporate rule. Also, making
their Occupy more successful, Occupiers conduct sit-ins and heckling
candidates. [#5] He states that
“Relationships with labor unions, the natural allies of Occupy when they see as
electoral politics, have been a mixed bag, with some unions, notably National
Nurses United, strongly backing the protesters while others have kept their
distance.”(Harrison). This quote shows that occupiers need to seek for labor
unions and allied forces to be able to come up with a more persuasive force; it
will enable the movement to move forward easily and successfully. [#3] Harrison
and Michelle strongly claim having closer ties with others groups of people, so
they can push through the movement to be easy reach success. Harrison- and Michelle’s perspective indicates
that if Occupiers want to have a successful Occupy movement, they should have a
bigger allied group such as unions or students.
In addition to that, Laird
Harrison’s and Sekar Ashara- , Deborah Soung’s articles have similar
perspectives. [#4] Even though Laird Harrison’s perspective plays a
positive way, Askhara- and Deborah’s
perspectives are more positive than his because it describes the occupy movement, which leads me
to come up with the second question which is that “Why do occupiers have to
mobilize students or leaders?” Askhara and Deborah, of whom are Occupiers, write for the Saratoga
Falcon, and argue that choosing leader and agreeing on common goals will keep the
movement organizing because they can easier to achieve their goals of changing
society.[#6] Askhara and Deborah
state that “having a leader does not mean stooping to corruption; having a
leader who proves more efficient, effective and trustworthy than the likes of
largely disliked corporate officials such as Leo Apotheker, former CEO [chief
executive officer] of Hewlett- Packard, means elevating the movement about the
level of the mighty One Percent.” It shows that the main point of the Occupy
movement needs the leaders. They mention that when Occupiers have leaders, they
may persist in occupy movement until they are successful. The same perspective is expressed that leaders
can help occupiers to reach their goals easily because occupiers believe leaders
themselves have the same goals. Their perspective is a powerful point to be
successful in the occupy movement. To
put things back in perspective, even though Laird’s article is similar to
Akshara- and Deborah’s, Nichols and Harrision’s article only mentions that students
and unions can change the fabric of national banks, and she doesn’t define the evidences
and explanations enough. Without enough relevant evidences, Harrison makes a
negative perspective in her article. Therefore, I think Akshara– and Deborah’s
articles are more informative and effective than Laird’s.
I tend to agree with Akshara - and
Deborah’s perspective because the Occupy movement having real leaders and goals
can help Occupiers to make successful Occupy activities. I think that their
Occupy movement is valid because they can establish a better economy in the
United Stated. Akshara and Deborah make a powerful point, which is that leaders
provide more energy to the occupiers, for leaders are effective to help
occupiers to reach their goals. In addition, having leaders’ help, occupiers
can easily solve their economic issues. Even though I never see the occupy movement,
with reading the three articles, I feel that if occupiers have leaders, it will
be easier than do it by themselves.
Works
Cited
Sekar,
Akshara, and Deborah Soung. “ The Occupy Movement Needs Leaders and Real Goal.
“The Occupy Movement. Ed.Stefan Kiesbye. Detroit: Greenhaven Press,
2013. At Issue.Rpt. from “Occupy
Movement in Need of Leaders and Goals.”
Saratoga Falcon.org 2011. Occupy
Viewpoings In Context. Web.1 Apr.2013.
Harrison,Larid
and Michelle Nichols. “The occupiers Need to Mobilize Students and
Unions to Succeed.” The Occupy Movement.Ed.Stefan
Kiesbye. Detroit: Greenhaven Predd,2013. At Issue.Rpt.
from“Occupy 2012: Movement Struggles
ToEvolve,MaintainMomentum.”HunffingtonPost.com.2012.Opposing Viewpoints In
Context. Web.1 Apr.2013.
Armoudian,
Maria. “In Order to Succeed, the Occupy Movement Needs to Broaden Its
Focus. “The Occupy Movement. Ed.
Stefan Kiesbye. Detroit: Greenhaven Press,
2013. At Issue. Rpt. From “How will
the Occupy Movement Evolve?”
Truth-out.org. 2012. Opposing
Viewpoints In Context. Web.1 Apr. 2013.
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