Peer Evaluation for Rebecca

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Cuihua Lin

Mr. Hayes

English100 [1:10-2:00]

5/8/13

Word Count: 510

                                                                        Peer Evaluation for “Quiet”

Reverse Outline

Paragraph	Note on form or organization	Brief of on content
#1	Hook and introduce the text	Introduce what is the introverts and extrovert
#2	Introduce the introverts	Discussion of the introverts
#3	Body 1	Give an example to talks about the source of the introverts
#4	Body2	Another example to discuss the introverts.
#5	Body3	Discusses the difficulty of this text

Global:

·       There is a big picture for this essay

·       I see that the main approach of this paper revolves around Introverts and extroverts, although I am not quite sure what the specific thesis.

·       I see a little summary of your book club text, but I do not see a recommendation of your book club text, I suggest you may add a little bit to your summary.

·       The essay seem to include an analysis of the book’s argument

·       Excellent attention to audience. I notice this at several points, such as the second paragraph.

Organization:

·       I like how you organized your essay, star right in with club text.

·       It  seems to discuss introverts, come up with an example: Eleanor Roosevelt

·       I like the way each of the sources were follow the “Topic – Evidence –explanation”

·       You consider a “word to text” introduction in which you set up the books topic before you begin discussing it.

·       It seem you are not recommend your text, you put some difficulty point with your essay

·       You may need to add more reason for your essay. May you could develop in more details in your essay

·       The topic which explores the benefits of being an introvert, sounds pretty interesting.

Paragraph:

·       Great work on conveying the “They Say” Part, but you might need to express a little more of you “I Say”.

·       I like how the topic – evidence- explanation concept was applied in this paper, although I think the topics seem to be lacking some specification.

·       The fourth paragraph, you might try to add a more explanation as to how the quotation prove your topic

·       Good  transition on your fifth paragraph

·       I like the way you used a question to include a “naysayer” counter argument to your recommendation

·       I like the strong analysis of the quote in paragraph 3, you clinched your point, and I could see how this provided one perspective on the question you start with.

·       Interesting idea to define that term in paragraph 4- you may develop this more

·       I like the structure of your body paragraph, but you may develop your topic sentences.

·       It seems all paragraphs talk about “introverts”, but I didn’t see how you recommend this text.

·       I didn’t see you talk about the extrovert, may be you can add a little bit

·       You may skip line when you write your essay (Use MLA )

·       you may develop a little bit more summary on your first paragraph

·       make the thesis specific