Table of Content

Opening Statement


Essay 1: What I know

  Introductory Statement            

  Final Draft

Essay 2: Taking a Side                       
Introductory Statement             

Pre- writing

Final Draft

Toulmin Analysis/Critique2

 Essay 3: Inquiry to Occupy

Introductory Satement

Pre-writing

Final Draft

Essay 4: Book Club

Introductory Statement

Final Draft

Peer Evaluation for Rebecca


Reflection: Writing Process

Closing Statement

Reflection: Writing Process

            Writing the process of my essay or response, I usually use some useful stages that I need to focus on them.  In this semester, I total wrote 4 essays. I use the same way to write my essays. In the first step, I was reading the assignment and article. To make sure I could easy to understand what I were going to write, I annotate the assignment and article. After finished reading, I started to write outline. I think this is important for me because I could know how to organize my whole essay what I was going to write. The third step, I would write my review draft quickly because I did not care if I have grammar mistake. Therefore, when we Peer Evaluation to each other, we check the grammar and the paragraph’s organization. Like this, I could easy know which part I need to develop. Finally, I would do the proofreading in my draft. I think it is effective to improve an essay.

Essay 4: Final Draft

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 Cuihua Lin

Mr. Hayes

English100 [1:10-2:00]

 5/6/13

Word Count:  1258

                                                               To be Outliers

            How does one become a successful person? Different people have different perspective. Some people may believe that success is the result of careful planning, but others may believe that success comes from taking risks and opportunities. However, I believe that success is a combination of external factors and personality.

 My book club’s text is Outliers: the Story of Success, it tells about what make a person successful. The author, Malcolm Gladwell, is a journalist for The Washington and writes from a contrarian viewpoint Post, points out his main points simply and briefly. Gladwell describes why people are so successful and shares interesting stories about successful people. He shows many examples to help us to think about some similarities between successful people in order to find out the key to success. What makes you succeed? Gladwell argues that there are some circumstantial and environmental factors that influence a person’s success.  He said that External factors play an important role in success.  Moreover, Gladwell use many examples demonstrates his main point, which is that the factors contributing to a person’s success are beyond the individual’s control, for he/she is influenced by circumstantial and environmental factors. From Gladwell’s explanations of success, his book contains the two most important parts: that hard work helps success people to succeed and that they should seize the opportunities when they occur.

            One of the most important parts is that successful people have the virtue of hard work. Malcolm Gladwell holds that “10,000 hours of working on skills seems to be a rule of success.”( Gladwell 39) I fully agree with him because only if we work hard, we can reach our dreams. For instance, Bill Gates could succeed not only because his computer savvy is better than others, but also because he worked much harder than others. Bill Gates started working towards the threshold of 10,000 hours when he gained access to a high school computer. When Gates was in his high school years, he skipped athletics and spent his whole nights at the Information Sciences Inc. and the Computer Center Corporation in order to use their computers to program. Without that hard effort, I believe that Gates could not have had his Microsoft companies around the world today. What’s more, before they had their first burst of success, the Beatles, a rock and roll band from England, had performed live in Hamburg, Germany over 1200 times from 1960 to 1964, which amassed more than 10,000 hours of playing time. All of the time the Beatles spent in performing shaped their talents, for “they were no good onstage when they went there and they were very good when they came back” (Gladwell 50). Everyone wants to succeed, but there is no shortcut to success. We will succeed only if we work hard. Gladwell’s conclusion about 10,000 hours teaches readers that only through extremely hard work and dedication they can make their dreams come true.

            In addition to talk about hard work, seizing the opportunity is very important because it can lead readers to learn more success. What’s the key to success? Malcolm Gladwell states that “successful people are often lucky to be in the right place at the right time.”(Gladwell 123) This quote shows that if those people did not seize the opportunities, they would never have chances to reach their goals. For instance, Bill Gates, the computer programming pioneer, dropped out of Harvard University in order to seize the opportunity to create a computer company called Microsoft with his friends. Even though Harvard is one of the most well-known universities around the world, and it could have helped Bill Gates to live a good life, Bill Gates gave up his school with great pluck to seize the opportunity to explore the way of his success. This opportunity allowed Bill Gates to get to the top of pyramid because that opportunity leads Bill Gates to get more opportunities. Obviously, seizing the opportunity is crucial for being successful. If Bill had stayed at the Harvard University until graduation, I believe Bill Gates would have lost the opportunity to reach his outstanding status today. Seizing your opportunity makes you go farther than others. It may be hard to seize it, but we should try our best to catch it and use it to change ourselves and even change the world. Gladwell’s point tells readers that once they seize the opportunity, they can succeed more than others with their hard effort.

While reading his book outliers, I feel this book is more easy than difficult when I read because it has fewer difficulty vocabularies. Even though there is few parts needs a little bit extra time to understand the concepts, most chapters are easy to understand because it contains some useful factors. For example, the chart is one of the factors. When Glawell writes about why do most successful people were born from Jan. to Apr., he not only uses some relevance datas to prove his claim, but also sets up some tables to help readers easily to understand what he talks about success. He inserts the charts under the end of his claims to persuade to readers to believe his claims. Having those charts, I can easily to read and remember this book. In addition, I think that charts are useful because I can through the charts to specific know what the author said. The other factor that I think his book is easy is because he has similarities points to explain the different success people. From chapter 2, Gladwell mentions two success people, Bill Gates and Bill Joy, who have some experience of success. Both of them succeed in the IT field, so I can easily compare their experience. Even though they have different skills about computers, they all follow same steps which reach the 10,000 hour rules, and seize the opportunities. Therefore, as a reader, I could understand the author’s main points.

Above all, Gladwell uses some effective evidences to show that his important parts of success is meaningful, and the text itself is easy to read, which is good for a transfer level college reading and writing class. I recommend this book to the future English 100 students because these two reasons: that it can help readers to learn how to be more successful and that it contains some useful and interesting knowledge for readers. From two reasons the future English 100 students not only can learn how to work hard or how to seize opportunities to reach their goals, but also they can easy to understand what this book talks about. With those meaningful reasons, there is wonder that this book is worth reading carefully for the future English 100 students.

      There is no doubt that successful people take advantage of opportunities. However, if we have good condition and environment, but we do not work hard, we can only watch opportunities pass. Bill Gates and Bill Joy seized the opportunities, but if they did not work hard, they wouldn’t succeed and become outliers. It is not always innate genius or talent that will make you a success; it’s the hours that you put in, which means that if we work hard now, we could expect success later on. If we don’t, our future life will probably be gloomy.

           

             

Work Cite

Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success is a non-fiction book, published by little, brown

                   And company on November 18, 2008 New York: Hatchette book group (original work

   published 2008).

Peer Evaluation for Rebecca

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Cuihua Lin

Mr. Hayes

English100 [1:10-2:00]

5/8/13

Word Count: 510

                                                                        Peer Evaluation for “Quiet”

Reverse Outline

Paragraph	Note on form or organization	Brief of on content
#1	Hook and introduce the text	Introduce what is the introverts and extrovert
#2	Introduce the introverts	Discussion of the introverts
#3	Body 1	Give an example to talks about the source of the introverts
#4	Body2	Another example to discuss the introverts.
#5	Body3	Discusses the difficulty of this text

Global:

·       There is a big picture for this essay

·       I see that the main approach of this paper revolves around Introverts and extroverts, although I am not quite sure what the specific thesis.

·       I see a little summary of your book club text, but I do not see a recommendation of your book club text, I suggest you may add a little bit to your summary.

·       The essay seem to include an analysis of the book’s argument

·       Excellent attention to audience. I notice this at several points, such as the second paragraph.

Organization:

·       I like how you organized your essay, star right in with club text.

·       It  seems to discuss introverts, come up with an example: Eleanor Roosevelt

·       I like the way each of the sources were follow the “Topic – Evidence –explanation”

·       You consider a “word to text” introduction in which you set up the books topic before you begin discussing it.

·       It seem you are not recommend your text, you put some difficulty point with your essay

·       You may need to add more reason for your essay. May you could develop in more details in your essay

·       The topic which explores the benefits of being an introvert, sounds pretty interesting.

Paragraph:

·       Great work on conveying the “They Say” Part, but you might need to express a little more of you “I Say”.

·       I like how the topic – evidence- explanation concept was applied in this paper, although I think the topics seem to be lacking some specification.

·       The fourth paragraph, you might try to add a more explanation as to how the quotation prove your topic

·       Good  transition on your fifth paragraph

·       I like the way you used a question to include a “naysayer” counter argument to your recommendation

·       I like the strong analysis of the quote in paragraph 3, you clinched your point, and I could see how this provided one perspective on the question you start with.

·       Interesting idea to define that term in paragraph 4- you may develop this more

·       I like the structure of your body paragraph, but you may develop your topic sentences.

·       It seems all paragraphs talk about “introverts”, but I didn’t see how you recommend this text.

·       I didn’t see you talk about the extrovert, may be you can add a little bit

·       You may skip line when you write your essay (Use MLA )

·       you may develop a little bit more summary on your first paragraph

·       make the thesis specific

closing Statement

In my first day in Mr. Hayes’ classes, I felt that it is different ESL class. I thought whether the class was going to be difficulty and might help me to improve English class.  There is no doubt that I learned a lot of knowledge from his class.  Before writing a whole essay, professor would give us assignments to improve our writing every day. With those assignments, I know how to organize my writing essay. Also, when we start write review draft, we can discuss the Think/pair and the Peer Evaluation. Like this, we can easy to find which part we need to develop.

            Mr. Hayes is one respectable and patience professor. He taught us how to improve my writing essay.  No matter you are native speak or use second language, there were the same assignment for each day. Even though we have to write homework each day, we learn a lot of knowledge from him.

Introductory Statement4

In the essay4 discusses about books. It contains “Book club presentation and review essay.” When we enjoy the book club, we not only need to summary the books, but also need to discuss the different/ease. Moreover, the important points of the book club is discussed whether we have to recommend the books or not to the future English 100 students. I gain useful knowledge and improve my reading from this book club.  

Introductory Statement 3

In essay 3: Inquiry Into occupy. This essay writes about the Occupy movement, which surround the structure of Aims of argument.  We do not need to write thesis, we only follows question to write our body paragraphs.  Therefore it is easy to for us to choose which article focus on the question.